my mind is in a whirl. i couldnt do anitin els besides crying. knowing the outcome juz upsets me. ryte frm the tyme i knew the result, i juz cnt focus. be it doin my stuffs at werk, or even watching tv. my mind was elswher. i min i knew i shuld be prepared fer dis to hpn. even the coordinator ardy warned me before. but i juz cnt avoid the feelings ryte? tats nature.

so daddy aint suitable to be my donor fer now. he said its not reely confirmed tho. still pending. mummy was the 2nd option. im not sure if she needs to do all the necessary test ardy, juz lyke wat daddy did. im juz afraid. TOO afraid. wat if the result turns out to be the same as daddy? wat shuld i do den? the tots of it juz bothers me, soo much.

im ardy on the verge of givin up on my treatment. der was once, dis particular nurse frm my treatment place asked me dis ques, " have eu ever tot of running away or avoiding frm eur ______[the treatment im goin thru]?" my ans to her was, "yes, i do haf tat kinda tots sumtymes." and now tat the outcome turns out to be disappointing? yess, dumbfounded. haix.

well, lyke i'v said, im on the verge of givin up. but at the same tyme, im trying my very veryyyyy best to stand up strong agn, and continue wif lyfe, fer the sake of ppl ard me. my famlys, relatives, gfs and bfs. their motivations nvr fails to make me look on the brighter side of lyfe, and think positively. wadev it is, im juz praying fer the best, fer bof mum and dad. watching em sacrificing all dis fer me, made me realise sumtin. parents love fer their children has got no boundaries. so no matter how irritating, naggy, or stuckup dey are, juz appreciate em. its nvr too late to realise, ppl. :)

and lastly, i wish to share sumtin wif ya'll. afta watching dis vid, my heart reely goes out to her. i was kinda angry wif the vaccine tingy too actuali. she is gorgeous! but yet, dis hafta hpn to her. haix~

psst ; eur unpredictable eu noe tat?