http://her-sweetest-confessions.blogspot.com
This is a PERSONAL blog,
which will be written, expressed and reflected by me.
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Simply exit from my page.
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Thank you!
;)
Sunday, February 1, 2009
im reely reely REELY upset. tings arent goin the way tat me and my famly wanted or had planned in the past. during the tyme eldersis was still pregnant. yess yess, i noe. "Kita merancang, Tuhan menentukan." but still, it reely hurts me tho. mummy was suppose to enjoy life, become a full-time housewife and take care of my twin nephews. but now, she told she need to get back to werk agn, to help my famly earn the xtra income and oso fer my treatments. sooner or later, she needs to send my twin nephews bck to the in-laws, and oso hire a maid, in wich moz of my famly members disagree to in the ferst plc. well, we prefer the babies to be taken care by our own famly members eu see. but now, we nid the help of an outsider to help look afta em. haix.i cnt believe tat dis whle ting is hpning to me and my famly. the "test" tat was given to us is gettin tougher and tougher each dae. i broke dwn wen mummy talked to me during breakfast. she too. we bof broke dwn. ders too much issues to tink bout and settle. i wish i can search fer anotha job. a nite shift job preferably. so 1 job in the mornin, the otha in the nite. but my famly disagree to it. dey dun reely like tat idea coz dey'r afraid tat i'll worn myself out. but heyy, ders no otha choices left fer me. i need to earn more ratha den juz dependin on my current pay. gosh, i reely feel tat im a burden to em. dey wont be in dis kinda situation if not fer me.honestly, SUICIDE do lingers in my mind sumtymes. easier fer evryone. i too wont feel lyke im a burden to em. but i noe tats a sin fer us. a BIG one. but i juz culdnt stp tinkin bout it. ppl kept sayin over and over agn tat im strong. hmmh, strong ppl do cry ryte? dey tend to get emotional at tymes too ryte? tats human being. no matter how hard eu try to take cntrl on tings, eu'l still lose it in the end. haix. i got nuthin mre to say. am i a burden to ya'll? pardon me fer being too carried away, i juz need to pour out wadev i felt.to Farid and Khalil : tankiu soo soo much fer tryin eur veri best to console me juz now. im kinda oke now. mebbe i'v yet to adapt to the new "changes". and Farid, i'll oways rmber wat eu'v said. *winx*ohh yess, juz wanna add on to sumtin! i swear the drama 'NENEKKU SUPERSPY' is soo merepek! watched the ferst episode juz now. i watched fer the sake of watchin Fadhlur Rahman pluss, i was alone at home. ishk ishk! sumpah merepek! NENEKKU LAGI SUPERRRR! muahahahas! oke, enuff of eur crap-ness ehk yeul! hiaakk-dusssh~im done fer now! gotta werk tmr! gudnyte ppl! mimpi manis! *smiles*
psst ; is der ani otha alternative ways fer me?
